Im off to the USA for a couple of weeks with daughter no 1. Its been a while. Since the beginning of the pandemic some 20 months ago, Ive hardly even left the county let alone the country. But as we are finally allowed to travel to America and I havent seen daughter no 2 since she left to work in California 3 months ago, weve decided its time for a visit.
We have managed to get a cheap deal. The bad news is this means transiting Frankfurt, making a long day that much longer. We get up at 3 am and drive to the airport. The rules of travel – we have to adhere to those set out by the Germans, the Americans and Lufthansa. We join the check in queue armed with our vaccine certificates, PCR test results, passenger attestation forms, and face masks. I assume others who have made it thus far will be similarly prepped, but apparently not.
The man in front of us is on day 2. Yesterday he turned up with an antigen test instead of a PCR and got turned away. We try to check in. Our documents
are in order but we have a suitcase we havent paid for as the Lufthansa booking system wasnt working when we tried to do so online.. Its not working at the airport either. We have to go to the ticket desk where a Nigerian lady is trying to argue her way past not having a PCR test. The clerk has to phone someone elsewhere with access to a to take our money. She promises a receipt within 5 working days.
We pass through security to the gate. The flight is heaving and pretty much everyone is transiting through Frankfurt. 90% of the flight is Nigerian. We have our breakfast (Ive packed banana bread) and its time to board.
After having our passports checked by a human, we need to scan our boarding passes at electronic gates. These either turn green and let you pass or buzz loudly with a red X - a bit like on Britains Got Talent if Simon Cowell decides your act is shit. The woman in front of us gets a red X and has to present herself to humans. She is flying to Canada and her PCR test was taken more
than 72 hours before the departure of her Canadian flight. She is denied boarding and takes the news very, very badly. There is a lot of shouting and swearing and jostling as she tries to physically force her way past the check in staff. We present our boarding passes to the machine and get the dreaded red X. We have no choice other than go and stand behind the jostling. Eventually the appears to give up and head towards the terminal.
The system has identified we have a bag but no receipt. Luckily, the ticket desk clerk has sent us an email confirming they have taken our money and we are able to board. The flight to Frankfurt is uneventful and we land 5 minutes ahead of schedule. The captain is very proud of this feat. Unfortunately, he then has to make a subsequent announcement that we have taken ground staff by surprise and they will take 5 minutes to arrive.
Its 9.05 and our flight to San Francisco departs at 10.05. We are parked in zone C and our next flight is from zone Z. This already feels tight, but when the ground staff finally arrive, its
not to connect the air bridge, but with steps and a bus which drives us to zone A. By the time we enter the terminal, its 40 minutes to our flight and the screen shows that its already boarding. The good news – the airport is circular so zone Z is next to zone A. The bad news – to enter zone Z, you must pass another Covid document check. The queue is enormous. We cant even see the end. Theres no way we can join it and make our flight. We join the much shorter business class queue and are hugely relieved that they agree to deal with us.
We pass and make our way to our gate and join our next queue of boarding passengers. By the time we reach the plane, our departure time and gone. We finally make it on board and settle into our seats. We are joined by a South African man who has already flown 12 hours from Cape Town and no longer knows what day it is.
